I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

Author:Jennette McCurdy [McCurdy, Jennette]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Crónica, Biografía
Publisher: ePubLibre
Published: 2022-09-08T00:00:00+00:00

45

“ALOHA.” THE PRETTY FOUR SEASONS Resort Maui employee greets us as she drapes a floral lei around my neck and a nut lei around Joe’s. Joe’s eyes linger on the employee for .2 seconds too long. I hate the bitch. I make a mental note to work on jealousy someday, whenever I get around to it.

We check into the hotel, reiterating multiple times that the reservation is under my name and not Joe’s. Whether it’s the age difference between Joe and me, or just sexism, nobody seems to believe that a trip to the Four Seasons might be my doing and not his.

Granted, it’s not exactly my doing. It’s Nickelodeon’s doing. This was each cast member’s fifth season wrap gift—four nights and five days at the Four Seasons Resort Maui at Wailea for the cast member and one guest.

Of course Joe’s my guest. We’ve been together for a year at this point, and our relationship has settled into a nice groove. Sure, 50 percent of the time things are chaotic and tumultuous—Joe’s drunk and I’m hysterical; Joe’s upset that I’m too possessive and I’m upset that Joe’s gotten back into debt three weeks after I paid it off for him—but the other 50 percent of the time, things are great.

We watch reruns of Survivor. We have stupid-but-fun inside jokes. We laugh a lot. We still haven’t had sex, but I’ve gotten better at giving blow jobs.

This relationship looks and feels to me like a huge step up from my parents’ relationship—they had the screaming, tumultuous, fighting part, but none of the fun. The only problem is that Mom still doesn’t know about our relationship.

Mom had to move out of my apartment a few months back to be closer to her oncologist in Orange County now that her appointments are near daily. Now that we’re not physically in the same space together, Mom calls me ten or so times a day to keep up-to-date on my life—how big of a role my character has in any given episode of the show, if I’ve been auditioning for anything else lately, pitches for why I should get back into country music (I quit my recording contract after Mom’s cancer took a turn for the worse). I’m worried about how I’m gonna get through a four-night and five-day stay at the Four Seasons without Mom knowing who I’m with.

We decide I’ll tell Mom I’m with Colton, my gay friend she approves of because there’s no way his penis is entering me, who will then join in three-way calls to help me out so Mom won’t know I’m lying.

Lying to Mom is difficult for me. Whenever I lie to her to protect my relationship with Joe, I hang up the phone and weep into Joe’s arms from the guilt I feel. I tell him I wish I could be honest with her, I wish she could meet him, I wish I wasn’t scared of her. And Joe runs his hands through my hair and comforts me.

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